Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship

NEW YORK TIMES, WALL STREET JOURNAL, AND USA TODAY BESTSELLER • Stop working on yourself as an individual and start working on your relationship as a couple, with the help of the renowned family therapist and author of The New Rules of Marriage
 
“This book is a road map for all of us who seek true intimacy.”—GWYNETH PALTROW, founder and CEO of goop

ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: The Wall Street Journal

Not much is harder than figuring out how to love your partner in all their messy humanness—and there’s also not much that’s more important. 

At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real sees how it poisons intimate relationships in his therapy practice, where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools. 

In his transformative new book Us, Real brilliantly observes how our winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with devastating results: repetitive fights that go nowhere, or a distant relationship in which partners end up living “alone together.” With deft insight, humor, and charm, Real guides you to transform your relationship into one that’s based on compassion, collaboration, and closeness. 

Us is a groundbreaking guide to a new science-backed skillset—one that will allow you to get past your knee-jerk reactions and tap into your wiser, more collaborative self. With a novelist’s flair, Real shares the stories of couples whose relationships have been saved by these skills and pans out to the culture that reinforces our dysfunction. If you and your partner are backed into separate corners of “you” and “me,” this book will show the way back to “us.” With Us, your true relationship can begin.

Terrence Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and author. He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents along with a professional training program for clinicians to learn his Relational Life Therapy methodology. He is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It, How Can I Get Through to You?, and The New Rules of Marriage.

ISBN: 9780593233696
Format: Paperback
Pages: 368
Publisher: Harmony/Rodale
Published: July 30, 2024

“A beautiful and important book, particularly for the moment we are in.”—Bruce Springsteen, from the foreword

“It’s cliche to say Dr. Terry Real’s new book, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, changed the way I view every relationship in my life. But it’s true.”—Katie Couric Media

“[An] enveloping and insightful book . . . Real is a natural storyteller, pointed, jovial, and funny. If you’re struggling in your relationship and are open to hard truths, delivered with compassion and zero wasted time, Real is the ticket.”—Esquire (Best Wellness Books)

“When I need advice, I call Terry Real. His decades of clinical experience, research, and wisdom are invaluable to my patients, colleagues, and friends. Us brings his advice to life. It is the book that we all need to read to create more thriving and intimate connections.”—Esther Perel, New York Times bestselling author and podcast host of Where Should We Begin

“Terry Real is a wise, honest, and charming guide. This book is a road map for all of us who seek true intimacy. Real’s approach teaches us how to step outside of the culture of individualism and embrace our interconnectedness. We can use it to heal a single relationship and to shift our collective culture.”—Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop